About Amanda Banks

Amanda is a writer, dancer and teacher. She writes about marine conservation, dance, nature, life and other such unfathomables.

Flukes, fun and festivities

Well this orca seems to have an eye on me, while I attempt to emulate an octopus; engaged in sorting, finalising, packing and completing eight things at once, intent on fitting my life into a suitcase ready to rejoin my husband in America next week. However, I am afraid that despite my best attempts, my octopus impression does not quite stretch to being abe to write a ‘real’ blog post right now. (To the disapproval of my watching killer whale friend I am sure.) But I can at least give a couple of shout outs for two up and coming events which anyone with an interest in flukes, flippers, blowholes and other such whale related curiosities, may jump at the chance to attend.

The wording below is taken from Marine Life Studies and Planet Whale’s promotional materials. Please visit their websites for more details.

“Flip for Whales Sunset Cruise and Yacht Club Party, featuring National Geographic photographer, Charles “Flip” Nicklin, Saturday October 20th, Monterey Bay, Calfornia, USA

This fundraising event will support Marine Life Studies’ whale and dolphin research, the Whale Entanglement Team (W.E.T.), and free educational programs for children, youth, and adults.

The sunset cruise, 4 to 7 pm, departs Moss Landing Harbor on the Blue Ocean Whale Watch vessel, “High Spirits”. Special guest Flip Nicklin will be featured along with live music by Jim Davis, wine, appetizers, and a silent and live auction.

The yacht club party, 7 to 10 pm, is at the Elkhorn Yacht Club in Moss Landing. Activities include a special presentation by Flip Nicklin and Peggy Stap, Executive Director of Marine Life Studies, live music by composer/pianist Nick Peter Fettis, wine, appetizers, and a silent and live auction.

Mingle with Flip during this event where he will: share stories of his adventures photographing whales and dolphins around the world; give pointers on how to take that perfect “National Geographic” photo; sign his book “Among Giants:  A Life with Whales” which will be available for purchase.

Minimum donation is $125 per ticket. Donations are tax deductible. Limited tickets are available so call 831.901.3833 to make a reservation or visit the website at www.marinelifestudies.org

‘Save the Whales’ Reloaded: WhaleFest 25-28th October 2012, Brighton, UK

Thirty years ago the world voted to ‘save’ the whale. Now it’s time to inspire the next generation to finish the job at the very place where that monumental vote was first made. WhaleFest is the world’s biggest celebration and declaration for whales and dolphins, organised by the Planet Whale team.

Celebrities and expert speakers at WhaleFest will include Bill Oddie, Doug Allan, Mark Carwardine, Ingrid Visser, Pete Bethune, Mark Simmonds, Philip Hoare, Erich Hoyt, Gill Lewis and Nicola Davies.

The World Whale Conference will be held on 25th and 26th October; your chance to make a difference along with cetacean conservationists from around the world.

The festival will take place on 27th and 28th October. Activities include ocean storytelling, speed dating with marine experts, music and arts, competitions and much more.

Children’s tickets are free and adult tickets range from £7.50-16.50 for one or two days of the weekend festival. For more details on these, plus tickets to the World Whale Conference, please visit:
http://www.whale-fest.com/


On love and other such unfathomables

Apologies to Peggy, although I know she will understand, this post is not about tracking killer whales in Monterey Bay, marine conservation or even getting soaking wet. And apologies to Pieter Folkens, who I have as yet to turn my hand to writing about, this post does not deal with the subject of climate change. Instead, it is a rare personal aside, a celebration of love, because today is a special day for my husband Bruno and I.

Today is our first year wedding anniversary and today we are glad to know that we will soon be together again after more than two months of being apart.

As I write this, Bruno is sleeping many miles away in California, while I sit with an autumnal sun shining in through the window in southern England. All being well, within two weeks I will be flying home to him, legally entitled to live and work at his side in America, and we will not have to be separated again, (at least not because we happen to be citizens of different countries).

All of which may sound a world away from the usual cetacean or philosophical related matters, or even Lilanthro-style short story, often featured on this blog. But for me, they are so intrinsically linked, so steeped in what feels like destiny that in my mind’s eye they form a criss-crossing of interdependent vines growing their way towards the light.

With love and gratitude I look back on the last year and a half of writing this blog, and the people who have featured on it. Had it not been for Dylan Walker and Ian Rowlands at Planet Whale, my path would have led elsewhere, maybe never to reach the arms of my love. Without the goodwill of Peggy from Marine Life Studies, Stefan from Mundo Azul and Laurie from Grand Manan Whale and Seabird Research Station, the wheels would not have started turning. Without all the many mysterious events that led Bruno and I to both be at that particular place at that particular moment in time, in the heart of Lima as the evening darkened, our paths may never have touched, let alone begun a journey through life together.

I wish I had adequate words to express the bundles of thoughts, reflections and emotions inside of me today. Instead I remain simply stupefied by the wonders, surprises, power, intensity, complexity, confusion, sparkling joyfulness and deep harshness of life. And yet, as this blog proves of course, I cannot help but attempt to pull the spiralling thought-forms from my head and see what happens if I give them voice as words on this page.

Life / God / the Universe really does giveth and taketh away at any seemingly random moment in time. The ages of man come and go, the cycles of growth and decay wax and wain, civilisations grow strong and well-intentioned then fall foul of corruption, war and darkened motives, each tiny entity of human-being-ness lives its life of unique happiness and suffering, growing sometimes towards and sometimes away from the light of self-awareness, love and compassion. Everywhere the eye and mind can look there are sandstorms of chaos, meaninglessness and chance, and yet everywhere the heart and soul can perceive there are also complex patterns, repetitive cycles and interlinked meanings lying buried in the sand.

We live, we die, as our ancestors have done for thousands of years, as our children will in all likelihood do for thousands more. We enter the doorway to this world on our own and we will leave it on our own. From an unremembered dark void we come and to it we will return, leaving loved ones to stumble onwards while attempting to knit back together the fabric of their existence which now bears a hole torn within it; a hole which did not exist before but which is now painfully and inextricably there, empty of the life and love that once filled it, with hollow questions floating in its midst, accompanied sometimes by faith, (which by definition cannot be proved, so offers only uncertain answers).

And in that brief span of our existence, we all seek love, whether knowingly or not. By whatever measure of innate qualities, soul experience, genetic inheritance and environmental upbringing we are allotted, our ability to recognise, seek, develop, give and receive love in its true nourishing form is either aided or hindered. Some of us attain a life where love flows relatively freely both in and out, nourishing ourselves and those around us in a harmonious flow. Most of us are stunted in one way or another, and our search for love wanders painfully offtrack to places where we mistake love for need, comfort, greed, abuse, manipulation or power, to name just a handful. And those of us whose minds, hearts and souls are so terribly twisted and tormented by lack of love and repeated mistakes, step too far into the dark to become tormentors themselves, inflicting pain and atrocity on others and the world.

For whatever reasons, life bestows its blessings and its dooms upon us. Wealth, health, power, apparent happiness, life and death, fortune and misfortune are given and taken by chaotic random chance, or in tune with a song which none can fully understand or predict. ‘Good’ people become sick and die before their time. ‘Bad’ people have wealth landing in their laps. ‘Hard working’ people struggle. ‘Lazy’ people are handed an easy life on a plate. ‘Humble’ people live small lives which barely leave an impact. ‘Power hungry’ people lead whole nations into war and hatred….

The same stories, the same patterns repeated since mankind became conscious of itself and the world.

There is either a reason for this multiplicity of existence, with its apparent random justice and injustices, or there is not. Simple. So surely it should be a simple matter for each of us to decide for ourselves whether we instinctively believe in an underlying fundamental reason for our existence, along with its pain and unfairness, or not. And surely, it should be a matter of personal choice what form our belief takes. Yet, of course inevitably, given the weaknesses of our human condition, even this simple choice has led to the bloodiest of wars, the vilest of hatred and prejudice, the most long lasting arguments to prove who can lay claim to being undeniably, without contention, utterly RIGHT.

Bless us all for our weaknesses and childish ways! The worst of us try to force everyone else to be like us, and even the best of us still judge ourselves and others every day of our lives; as if we had the omnipotent and perfectly inclusive viewpoint of God rather than the warped, coloured, distorted tiny peephole that is our fragmented vision of reality.

As I sit here filled with these bundles of thought-forms, accompanying emotions and awareness of the complexities of existence, I wonder…

How do I know why Bruno and I were lucky enough to meet that day in Peru less than a year and a half ago? How do I know if we ‘deserved’ such good fortune or not? How do I know if it was destiny or chance that brought us together? How do I know why the last year has been full of such wonderful love and miracles, yet also such difficult struggles in this challenging, material world? How do I know if Bruno and I will be graced with living a long, happy, loving life together or if today’s luck will become tomorrow’s deepest pain and sorrow?

My hands are empty, I have no answers. This world of wonder is too big for me to comprehend and understand even the tiniest workings of it. All I know is that I am full of gratitude that Bruno and I have met and shared this small fragment of the journey together. I am also full of gratitude that my eyes see and appreciate the wonders around me, my mind enjoys reflecting on the questions (even though I cannot answer them), my heart wants to feel and experience every single drop of life, my spirit has a questing nature, and my soul urges me to continue growing, continue learning and continue becoming.

None of this guarantees any particular future for Bruno and I, whether rosy or not, neither does it guarantee that I will always feel this way about life. But at this very moment in time, on this very day, as I sit here thinking of Bruno even as he lies sleeping faraway, it brings me gladness, meaning, fulfilment and hope. It allows me to perceive this world as something full of love, mystery and riddles, along with incomprehensible dangers. At this moment in time I cannot imagine thinking of life as something to plod through, to be filled with distractions, to be ‘done’ without pausing to muse over its wonders. At this moment in time, I am simply happy to be alive and to have Bruno, my family and friends to love.

And seeing as this very moment is all we ever truly have, I know that it is wonderfully, plentifully enough!

Bliss and responsibility (with whales on the side)

Moving on… To a little something more about Peggy Stap, Marine Life Studies, Monterey Bay, killer whales, almost-but-not-quite capsizing, chasing strange smelling oily slicks and being soaking wet for hours on end.

As you may know if you have been reading my last few meandering posts, I recently returned to Monterey Bay to be reunited with Peggy Stap of Marine Life Studies (MLS) and her beloved dog, Whiskie the Whale Spotter.

I first met Peggy a year and a half ago when I spent a month living in her home, assisting with her research and writing about her life. As friends warned her at the time, “It’s a risk having a stranger stay in your home for a month!” But, Peggy had a good feeling about it and, love and gratitude, luckily enough she was right and we became good friends. If you read the previous post you will know that I consider Peggy to be a Fool, (a compliment indeed when you know the context), and she is probably the one woman in the world most able to make me laugh until my whole body crumples to the floor in exhaustion.

Staying with her again this April felt like a home coming… even though she has moved house. And seeing as her new home is like a tree house, (one in which Whiskie drapes herself luxuriously onto every comfy chair, rug or bed available), I felt instantly relaxed and back in touch with the natural world.

Peggy’s new office has a window and is not quite so full of jumbled work stuff as her last one; rather than looking like a space in which a humpback has breached, this one looks more like a few playful dolphins have frolicked lightly in it. It is here that Peggy still spends much of her time. Although she is desperate to be on the water more and behind a desk less, the reality of running a research / conservation / education organization makes this a hard wish to manifest.

For anyone who has followed this blog on and off for the last year and a half, you may remember how Peggy diverged from a life of wildly varying jobs into the world of whale research at the tender age of forty, after an emotionally powerful encounter with humpbacks in Hawaii. You may also remember how she gained her research post with the Hawaii Whale Research Foundation (HWRF) by an unorthodox presentation of her resume wrapped up in a packed lunch thrown from the whale watch boat to HWRF’s research boat. And how, after working for HWRF for nearly ten years, she established MLS in 2006 and has since combined research with conservation and educational initiatives.

Today, as ever, her central passion lies in studying whales. Although humpbacks are her first love, killer whales come in close second and it is transient orcas which have become her main research subjects. (Remember, resident orcas are NOT resident in Monterey Bay and offshore orcas do not enter the bay often!)

This spring, unlike when I visited last year, Peggy had enough funding to launch her own boat, nicknamed Sweet Pea. This tiny 19 foot boat shares its nickname with Peggy’s husband Dick, which can become a wee bit confusing when you overhear one of Peggy’s phone conversations, something along the lines of “Hey Sweet Pea, we are setting out to sea on Sweet Pea today”. I was really fortunate to meet Dick this year, (he was away for all of my stay last year). Although Peggy describes him as quiet and keeping himself to himself, he is the most lovely, gentle, genuine-hearted, intelligent and thoughtful man. Dick is the kind of person you can sit down with, having no idea of what you might talk about, and then set sail into the most gloriously stimulating of conversations that crosses several thought provoking subjects and still finds its way home again in a coherent manner.

As I unpacked in my lovely bedroom that was to be a home away from home for two weeks, I mused over something which I had not considered before meeting and writing about marine conservationists, but which now caught my attention often.

Namely; what are the similarities and differences between researchers who study, say, the universe, and those who study animals? The similarities are probably obvious. They both do what they do because they are endlessly interested in and curious about their subjects… They have that particular trait of mind and character that finds the tiniest details fascinating and the patience to do both the exciting and mundane work to explore their subject further… They are drawn to their subjects so intensely that they want to devote their entire lives to learning more about them… Their desire to learn, to uncover the secrets, to probe ever deeper is infinite…

But what of the differences? There may be many, but what stands up above the rest for me is that star gazing scientists are not expected to save the universe, whereas many animal researchers must accept the daunting task of attempting to protect as well as study their research subjects.

Just imagine for a moment that you have found your passion, you have discovered what many people never discover in a lifetime, namely your ‘bliss’; that thing that makes your heart sing and which you know beyond any doubt you will devote the rest of your life to pursuing… You have a researcher’s mind with a researcher’s drive to study and learn… Being a researcher gets you out of bed with a smile on your face each day… You cannot wait to be on the water, feeling at one with the natural world around you, waiting for your first sighting of the day that may teach you something more than you knew yesterday about the animals you are studying…

But… part of what you learn as you research is that all is not necessarily well. There are huge problems presenting themselves for your attention; the most enormous challenges that your research subjects are facing. Little by little you become witness to the devastating consequences of mankind’s activities…

In the face of that, what do you do?

The answer is inevitable and simple. You attempt to do what you can to protect the animals that you study and to safeguard their home… You attempt to educate others to do likewise because you know that it will require a major effort from the majority rather than the minority to turn devastating consequences into healthy ones… Your life is suddenly full of three careers rather than just one; researcher, conservationist/campaigner and educator!

This is the reason why Peggy spends most of her day on land rather than out at sea. This is why Stefan and Nina of Mundo Azul in Peru put aside dolphin research and attempted to eradicate the illegal dolphin trade there. This is why Laurie of GMWSRS in Canada initiated a harbour porpoise release scheme and devotes so many extra hours to educational work.  This is why there are so many others dotted around the world, working with tiny amounts of funding, or no funding at all, all attempting to create a tiny impact that may ripple outwards to produce even greater, positive results.

It is not surprising that the majority of Peggy’s work still takes place on dry land; designing public education leaflets, implementing educational workshops and coordinating the Whale Entanglement Team. An astronomer may be able to gaze at the sky all day long (well, all night long), but a marine mammal researcher has to become, as I recall Laurie naming it, a “juggler”, and a master one at that.

Before I met Peggy, Stefan and Laurie last year, I believe I had a mostly unconscious, rather judgmental view of researchers. I did not get it. I subconsciously thought that researchers were being self-indulgent. In the face of our ongoing destruction of the natural world, how could anyone be so selfish as to want to study animals when they should be out there saving them?!

Now, I am glad to say, I understand better. I know that one of the rarest achievements in life is to discover your bliss and follow it. If your bliss is to be a researcher, of any subject, then it is a brave undertaking to embark on pursuing it. If you are fortunate enough to have a research subject not under threat from mankind’s misguided endeavors, then you can research to your heart’s content. But, if like Peggy and many others, you study animals, it is likely that your very passion for research is what will drive you to become a committed conservationist.

Marine mammal researchers may not all have an honest, well-intentioned love for the animals they study. Some are ego-bound and wish simply to become the respected star of their profession. This is the case in any arena of human endeavor. But, for those who strive with good intention, they take on extra multiple tasks with altruistic motives, tasks which they may not feel comfortable or equipped for doing, and carry out work that would normally require ten people to complete.

Now, whenever my thoughts turn to all the researchers turned conservationists and educators out there in the world, I feel inspired to humbly express my admiration and gratitude, and to acknowledge that we are all indebted to their dedication beyond any call of duty.

Well, these musings may not have all taken place as I unpacked my bags at Peggy’s this Spring, but I am grateful for my stay there to have helped me become more conscious of them and, hopefully, more coherent about them.

Anyway, did I not write something about getting wet, capsizing (almost), and strange oily slicks, at the start of this post? I guess my words have flowed down a slightly different course, but I have not totally forgotten. So, the recounting of those adventures will form the basis of my next post and I would be honored if you choose to come back again soon to read more.

For now, to complete this post, I would like to mention that Dan Salden, director of HWRF, recently passed away. I did not know him, but Peggy certainly did and I would like to offer up her words in remembrance of him:

“HWRF is like a huge extended family. I feel so fortunate to be part of that family. I volunteered for 8 yrs before I flew on my own. Just like a father who has given their child the tools to make it on their own, you helped me realize my dream of getting into research after I first saw a humpback whale in 1996. Then you told me I should apply for my own permit in monterey, which I would never have done if you had not suggested it.

I want you to know how much you mean to me and how much I appreciate all your help along the road we have traveled together. I hope to create a wonderful legacy in my lifetime that you have done in yours. You have made such an impact not only for the people you have inspired along the way, but the animals as well, including the wolves, whales and dolphins. You should be very proud.

I am so glad our paths crossed and we have journeyed together. I have so much respect for you Dan and lots of love and gratitude for everything you helped me achieve. Your legacy will live on not only with the Hawaii Whale Research Foundation but also with Marine Life Studies here in Monterey.”

A fool’s journey

With wonderful synchronicity, this morning before sitting down to write a post about scouting for killer whales with researcher, educator and conservationist Peggy Stap, I shut my eyes and picked a card from my Tarot deck. When I opened my eyes, I saw that I held the Fool in my hand. For a wonderful overview of the Fool, read Brigit Esselmont’s Biddy Tarot website from which the following passage and picture is taken:

“The Fool Tarot card shows the highest potential for your life, reaching a state of renewal and new beginnings, where each day is an adventure and each moment is lived to the fullest. The Fool card represents the beginning of all creativity and a desire to accomplish new goals (or to, at least, start the process of working towards those goals). The Fool indicates that anything can happen and the opportunities are just waiting to be taken advantage of… The Fool is all about new experiences, personal growth, development and adventure. The Fool Tarot card asks you to take a ‘leap of faith’ and to trust in the Universe that if you begin a new journey, you will find success… The Fool encourages you to believe in yourself and follow your heart no matter how crazy or foolish your impulses may seem.”

Brigit Esselmont, www.biddytarot.com

I can happily state that Peggy Stap is indeed a Fool. I can equally happily state that these days I welcome the Fool within me more readily and, with that in mind, the rest of this post will once again slide away from its original direction into a reflection about Fools, mottos, and stepping off of mountains.

“Love and gratitude, may something wonderful happen today…”

This is the motto that Peggy lives by. Every day; not just on the good days. Through the highlights, the lowlights, and all those days in-between that are not quite one thing or another but which constitute a major portion of many people’s lives.

Peggy’s Foolish approach to her life is a choice which she reaffirms in thought and action each day. And I am sure it makes a difference. She welcomes wonder into her life, believes in its existence, looks out for its appearance, and is always grateful for it when it shows up. It creates a certain kind of buoyancy inside her which in turn cultivates energy, passion and a very generous heart. I am sure it helps her retain a loving, grateful and relatively happy inner state, regardless of what the external world is doing.

Because of course, her ability to recognize love, give thanks and cultivate an air of positive expectancy about life, does not create wonderful results all of the time. Peggy has her share of difficulties, challenges and hard times. She is not some seemingly luck-filled person blessed with living in an ivory tower of perpetual happiness and fulfillment. Like the Fool, when she steps off of a mountain, it is just as likely that she will fall as it is that she will fly. She lives in the real world that we all live in; one filled with hardship and pain as much as it is filled with joy and wonders.

The magic of living like Peggy and the Fool, which anyone whose experiences in life have given them the bravery, openness and heart-fullness to appreciate, is subtle yet very real. They have the ability to sail through the storms of life without jumping overboard, hiding in the galley or murdering their shipmates, and can emerge into the glory of a sun-drenched ocean of turquoise waters, with the capacity to appreciate its unending beauty still miraculously intact.

Peggy’s simple motto and the image of the Fool are gentle reminders of the power to choose which we all have inside us. The Fool is in every one of us as we begin the journey of our lives and is with us on each step of the journey, if we allow ourselves to experience life through the Fool’s eyes and choose as he would choose. Every single day we make choices and every single day our choices shape the person we become tomorrow. We may not always think we have a choice, we may feel that we have little control over our lives and believe we are at the mercy of more powerful people, organisations, companies, governments, or even aliens. But still, underneath the external comings and goings of our surface life, are the subtle undercurrents of our existence, and it is here that we always have a choice and we exercise this choice in every moment of our life’s unfolding.

The Fool, in my as yet beginner’s understanding of this Tarot archetype, chooses life wholeheartedly no matter what it throws at him. The Fool has an innate understanding that life is a journey that must be lived and learnt in every single step. The Fool may be naive and indeed have much to learn on the path, (about the inherent danger of stepping off of mountains for instance), but he accepts the challenge of doing so with love and gratitude for the opportunity to live, feel, think, learn and become. There is no doubt that the Fool will get hurt, burned and lost along the way, but his faith in the essence of life will sustain him and help him to choose the light-filled path. The Fool will come to learn about the darker sides of life, especially the darker traits of human character, but this will not deter him. He instinctively feels that life, with all its contradictions and apparent darkness, is part of a much larger picture and he knows that he will only grow to perceive the full picture one small step at a time.

Now, to meander vaguely back in the direction of where this post began… I am not sure what Peggy will make of being likened to a Fool… I think most probably she will say she is more of a fool than a Fool and fall into one of her endearingly contagious fits of laughter!

I am sure that I have told her I will get round to writing about our time searching for killer whales in Monterey Bay soon. So, I promise that my next post will feature Peggy, Whiskie the Whale Spotter, me, some Marine Life Studies volunteers, a boat, some brightly coloured safety suits, hundreds of dolphins, a couple of killer whales and a ton of rain… Hmm, who am I kidding? It will probably be along those lines… Well maybe, who knows for sure? But please, do come back again to read all about that venture or something equally Foolish.

For now, I cannot resist the beauty of Mohamad Rumi’s words, floating to us across 800 years of history, to complete this Fool’s journey of a post. I tentatively believe that it is this unassuming little truth which brought you, Peggy, me and all of us Fools here to undertake the journey in the first place:

“If you have illusions about heaven lose them. The soul heard of one attribute of Love and came to earth. A hundred attributes of heaven could never charm her back. It is here the soul discovers the reality of Love.”

‘Rumi – Whispers of the Beloved’, translated by Maryam Mafi and Azima Melita Kolin

Why an orca is not just an orca

Sometimes we are fooled into thinking that the world is getting smaller… We can fly around it so fast, access information about every corner of it in seconds, watch instant live pictures of the most remote places from the familiarity of our homes… Smaller and smaller, more known less unknown, more commonplace less remarkable… Easily taken for granted and less easily able to shake us awake to look with wide-eyed wonder at the incredible, unfathomable, bounteous marvels around us.

Because really, the world is not getting smaller and it is still filled with wonder, more wonder than most of us can handle in one lifetime. (Maybe it is just our minds shrinking a little during our adult lives that fool us into thinking otherwise.) When we can summon just a little energy to step outside the relatively small box of everyday life, take ten minutes to explore something new, turn on a computer and look up new realms of interests, read a book about something we know nothing about, (never mind jumping on a plane and visiting someplace new)… We can stumble across things that explode the world open again and show us how vast it really is.

Take killer whales for example… A killer whale is a killer whale isn’t it? If you’ve seen one off the coast of Canada, you know what one living in Antarctica waters is like. They are the biggest of dolphins, have teeth, hunt sea lions, are black and white, are pretty stunning when you first see one, but once you’ve seen that plus a few pictures, no big deal… They’re just killer whales after all, what more do you need to know?

Mmmm, as I am finding out, the world of orcas is so much bigger than that and to think otherwise is to do a great injustice to orcas and to people who know better. Some such people are so intensely interested in killer whales that they spend their entire lives trying to learn more about them and passing that knowledge on to others. Peggy Stap of Marine Life Studies is one such person; she turns into an excited, energy-filled firecracker everyday that she heads out into Monterey Bay looking for killer whales. And she is not alone; just ten minutes online-orca-fact-hunting will bring a flood of knowledge into your lap about orcas and the people who study them around the world.

After my confusion about orcas and their seemingly misplaced classifications of residents (who do not reside in Monterey Bay at all); transients (who seem to reside or, at least, visit the bay most frequently); and offshores (who inhabit some mythic realm of my imagination in some distant ocean along with giant squids, Poseidon and krakens)… I did some online-orca-hunting of my own and suddenly found the world of the killer whales opening up before me and getting a whole lot bigger.

Killer whales are not just killer whales and, apparently if you know what you’re looking for, they do not even all look alike. Throughout the world, over the last few thousand years, orcas have separated off into distinct groups. Maybe in much the same way as humans travelled out of Africa, dispersed around the globe and developed different diets, skin colour and language, so too have killer whales formed different ‘races’.

Resident and transient orcas were first named by a scientist called Dr. Michael Bigg who studied them in the north-east Pacific off the coast of British Columbia and Washington State during the 1970’s. By the late 1980’s a third type of orca was discovered and named; the offshore killer whales. (This is, of course, the reason why the term ‘resident orca’ does not denote an orca residing in Monterey Bay; their names were, in part, based on geography. If killer whales had first been studied and named in California, then who knows, perhaps they would have ended up with different names.)

Around the world, there are at least ten orca types (residents, transients and offshores are the names given to the types seen in the north-east Pacific), and it is an ongoing point of research and discussion as to whether the different types are the same species, sub-species or entirely separate ones. In the meantime, the word ‘ecotypes’ has been adopted to denote the different types.

I cannot in one blog post do killer whales any justice by attempting to present the uniqueness and complexity of each ecotype. So, to give you just a tiny snapshot of their ‘characters’, let’s imagine we are in a speed-dating scenario, attempting to decide which orca-ecotype we would like to take on a date to the prom (to borrow Peggy Stap’s nickname for killer whales). I’ll allow each ecotype a few words to introduce themselves, but only as many as can be read in 30 seconds or so:

THE SOCIAL BUTTERFLY

Hi, I’m a resident killer whale. I’m a popular dude, everyone knows me, as I am the most known of all orcas. I’m quite transparent, relatively speaking, and you know what you are getting with me as I tend to hang out in my favourite places pretty consistently. That’s not to say I don’t explore, I can still be a nomad and might travel 100 miles in a day to find my food, but my range is smaller than other orcas and I return to my resident areas often. I am a total socialite, family is very important to me, and I tend to hang out with my family and friends in pods of 50 or more. I am very vocal and also quite an exhibitionist, able to perform the odd acrobatic trick when the mood takes me. I consider myself a food connoisseur as my diet is pretty selective and high end; I can eat salmon, salmon, salmon, all day long and never tire of it. If you want a date with me then come and hang out with my family and friends, and we’ll have a good long chat over a salmon dinner to get to know each other more.

THE DRAMATIC MOVIESTAR

Well hello there, I’m a transient killer whale and I’m the orca most likely to appear on your TV screens as I can provide the necessary WOW-factor. This is because of my choice of food as I am a hunter of BIG and FAST prey. I like to eat marine mammals and I’ll go after anything from a seal or sea lion to a porpoise, dolphin, gray whale or even a minke whale. I get about quite a bit, especially as some of my prey has the tendency to migrate, so one day you might find me hanging out in southern California and the next in the waters off Alaska. I am social in my own way, but not as much so as a resident and I certainly never choose to mix with them. I tend to hang out in matriarchal groups of 8 or so, but I may or may not stay with that group so don’t try to pin me down. I am not as loud as those noisy residents, but that is partly because I have to be stealthily quiet to hunt my prey. If you want a date with me then be ready for some thrilling action as I’ll show you what it’s like to be a lean and mean killing machine.

THE MYSTERIOUS WILD CARD

Hmm, I’m not going to say too much about myself; you’ll have to explore much further to find out more about me as I am the least known of all the orcas. I like to maintain my air of mystery by living in the open ocean, far offshore, and away from the prying eyes of humans. I may or may not be pretty sociable in the privacy of other orca company; I’ve been spotted in pods of 20 to 60 animals, but pods as big as 200 have also been seen. I tend to sport quite a few scars on my body, but I’ll let you try and work out how they got there. I also have rather worn down teeth, perhaps from the sharks that are a part of my diet, as they do tend to have rather abrasive skin. I speak a very different language than either the residents or transients, but maybe that is because our paths do not cross that often. If you want a date with me I’m not going to make it easy for you, you’ll have to travel far out to sea to try and find me wherever I might be.

Well, if your speed dating encounter with killer whales has made you keen to have a second date and find out more, there are a couple of places I can recommend you turn to. I came across the most fascinating in-depth writing about orcas in the Spring 2011 issue of the American Cetacean Society’s Journal. I found this document displayed as a link from the Orca Network, which is another great resource for killer whale facts and conservation ideas. And, of course, I must give a shout out to Planet Whale; if you want to find out about killer whale watching trips or conservation groups that focus on killer whales around the world, this is THE place to go.

So please, please, please, the next time you are sitting in your armchair imagining that the world is getting a little bit smaller as you watch a rerun of some old TV series, show a touch of kindness for yourself and the world, turn off the TV and find yourself a date to the prom with an orca, a whale or some other precious treasure from our world’s wide, wonderful and never-ending offering of treasures beyond measure. Who knows, maybe it’ll be eternal love at first sight!

All killer whale and humpback whale photos courtesy of Peggy Stap and Marine Life Studies

It’s all about the orcas

It is a subtle shift that occurs, between periods of time when words disappear into a hazy background while other preoccupations hold the foreground, and periods of time where a space opens up right in the centre for words to move into and claim for their own. At present, a jumble of words are tumbling over each other to be written. The overly linear side of my brain would like to organise them into a coherent order; complete the Bob Talbot posts, write some welcome updates on Peggy Stap and then progress to writing about Pieter Folkens and climate change, or the lack of it. However, aided and abetted by the Bob-cat still evading my attempts on completion, each time I sit down to write, I feel the other flexible, non-linear, meandering side of my brain (must be the right side) stepping forwards and moving me into non-logical places.

And so it is that today, while I had every conscious intention to write about Peggy Stap and our adventures together searching for cetaceans (aka whales) in Monterey Bay, I am pulled into a minor digression about her black and white research subjects which she calls her ‘dates to the prom’, none other than the fantastically named KILLER WHALES.

Killer whale… Orca… Orcinus orca… Whether you use their common name, nickname or latin name, they have similar root meanings, all of which sound like a horror movie title… Showing at midnight tonight is the spine-tingling chiller ‘Demon Killer from the Kingdom of the Dead’, watch it if you dare!

Of course, as most people know, this name does not do them justice but does elevate them, by name alone, to the status of being ‘cool’. And in the flesh, they are even ‘cooler’. There is just something so extraordinarily compelling about these most beautiful of ocean dwellers. Having seen them a handful of times up close and personal, I know that all the words in the world – stunning, magnificent, sleek, majestic, powerful… – can never be enough. Orcas generate a feeling which lies deeper than words can reach.

The absolute clincher that causes my jaw to drop in awe and my respect soaring to dizzying heights is knowing that these animals that hunt and tear apart seals, dolphins, whales and sharks have never willfully attacked a human in the wild. Moreover, there are only a handful of documented accounts of accidental attacks, none of which have been fatal. Different ‘sub-species’ of killer whales have completely different diets with some, called transient orcas, specializing in preying on marine mammals. I can only guess that a mammal-eating-orca knows full well that human beings are mammals, and ones which, if out swimming or surfing, would be a much easier target than, say, a fast, wary and alert harbor porpoise. Yet, they leave us alone. I cannot help but wonder as to why they afford us such a singular place of honour.

Even as we have been slowly but surely, ignorantly and self-servingly, hammering metaphorical nails into their coffins, orcas still leave us alone. It is, maybe, debatable whether killer whales would even be aware that our actions are the cause of their distress. Do they know, for example, that the high levels of toxins in their bodies are because of us? Or that their lack of food is caused by our endless fishing? Or that the injuries to their ears that can cause them to beach themselves come from manmade underwater explosions and sonar systems? Or even that the debris in the oceans which they can become entangled in is our debris…? How intelligent does an animal have to be to sense that at least some of these abuses can be attributed to those strange creatures who travel across the oceans in noisy, metallic, free-floating islands, dragging huge nets after them and dumping foul-smelling waste into the depths? Maybe orcas, along with fish and other ocean inhabitants, do not have a clue as to the source of their problems… But, seeing as orcas are a great deal smarter than fish, maybe they do. If they do, it is an even greater wonder that they still leave us alone and do not seek retribution. I am not sure if humans would do likewise.

In fact, the only documented accounts of orcas attacking and killing humans are when they are in captivity. Those stories make the headlines; surely we have all heard of incidents at one Seaworld or another where trainers have been hurt or killed, with the most recent killing of a female trainer in 2010 by an orca called Tilikum. Whether or not these incidents are willful attacks or misguided, boisterous attempts at play is uncertain. Dolphins in captivity can commit the extreme act of suicide by refusing to eat, refusing to breathe and striking their heads against aquarium walls. It is equally plausible that an orca could reach levels of despair, frustration and insanity deep enough to commit acts of aggression directed at people. I feel sad for the humans who have died and I feel equal empathy towards the killer whales; an animal of lesser intelligence and capacity for emotional distress, would not get bored, feel despair, or be capable of ‘losing their mind in the heat of the moment’.

But, before my words wander into darker realms, I’ll pull myself out of the depths and return to the warm, sunlit shallows. I know, I know; too many negative images at a time only tend to trigger disinterest. We all need hopeful, stimulating and inspiring images to motivate us along the path of learning to care for our planet…

… So, did I mention something about a transient orca? Let’s return to that ambiguous term. What on earth does ‘transient’ orca mean and, for that matter, what does ‘resident’ orca and ‘offshore’ orca mean? Initially I did not know that these different classifications of killer whales existed. Once I learnt their names, I still did not know exactly what the names meant and so I got very confused when Peggy told me that her main research subjects are transient orcas and not resident ones. I assumed, quite understandably I think, that resident orcas must reside in Monterey Bay, (with transients going in and out of it randomly, and offshores staying a long way out to sea and never entering the bay).

It turns out that I did not get that quite right. There is a lot more to it and, perplexingly, it seems that resident orcas do not in fact reside in Monterey Bay at all. But, this post has meandered on its merry orca-filled way for long enough now, so I will have to halt my flow of words and save them for the next post. If you would like to learn what really makes a transient orca transient, a resident orca resident, and an offshore orca offshore, then do come and visit again soon!

Killer whale photographs in this post are courtesy of Peggy Stap, copyright belongs to Peggy Stap and Marine Life Studies

An aside on divinity’s inclusivity

Today I was reading ‘Abundance and Right Livelihood’ by Neale Donald Walsch and walking along a beach watching the endless play of waves, birds and sky. The words below are the outcome of a melting pot of thoughts and feelings that emerged from these two experiences. They speak to me today; tomorrow they may not. Likewise, they may speak to you, or they may not. They feel ‘truthful’ to me in this moment, but I do not profess them to necessarily be True…..

The evidence is all around. It’s not exactly hidden from view. Not so wrapped up in subtlety that it needs to be deciphered by the wise. Not immersed in metaphor to such a degree that only dreams can touch upon it.

In every leaf, every drop of ocean, every bird that flies or animal that runs, crawls, slithers or swims, in every fragment of rock and every beam from the sun… The whole world delivers a message every single day and every single night.

Creation, destruction, birth, death, beauty, ugliness, wondrousness and fearfulness, calm and turmoil, order and chaos… Nature shows us an endless array of opposites that we could talk about to infinity and back, had we but infinite words to talk about them.

I need only glance at the ocean to feel a flood of associations fill my being. Associations that have been felt, thought, spoken, written and disseminated in a multitude of ways from the very first moment that man ever set eyes upon the vast blue-green-grey waves before him.

It is all there, raw and glorious and unhidden, contained within that one glance. The ocean… That gives life, and takes it. That offers the softest of playful ripples to paddle in with laughter, and the most vengeful of raging torrents to suck ships and people alike to a dark-drowning end. That contains a plentiful bounty of nourishment and wonder, and a power so strong it can throw itself against the land with an all consuming violence that spares nothing in its path. We came from the ocean, along with this abundance of miraculous life; we owe our very existence to its creative prowess. Yet, it has also heralded destruction on a grand scale, when ‘anoxic events’ gave rise to a splattering of mass extinctions strewn along the thread of our planet’s long history. It ebbs and flows, ebbs and flows, to a rhythm which takes its lead from the wanderings of our accompanying moon, but which occasionally breaks from this harmonious song to throw discord and chaos at the world.

If I spent my entire life looking intently at every element of nature I would see the same patterns of generosity and abundance walking hand in hand with gruesome, nightmarish, tearing-of-limb-from-limb brutality. They are woven into the very fabric of nature; take them away and the tapestry would simply not exist.

The evidence is all around…

I cannot help but smile to realize that this leads me to a glaringly obvious thought. If God exists, and by God I mean that divinity which all religions point towards but which none own outright, nor can claim singular knowledge of or singular path towards, then It is the ultimate definer of the word ‘inclusive’.

Nothing is left out in the cold, nothing excluded. Whether my version of God is called God, Allah, Shiva or Consciousness, whether it resides externally or internally, It is showing me in every breath of this grand display of ‘life’, that everything plays its part as it should.

The divine does not exclude beauty, and neither does it exclude ugliness, It does not exclude creation or destruction, fairness or unfairness. It includes harmony and discord, apparent goodness and apparent evil, and the whole big cast of ‘the good, the bad and the ugly’.

But in the face of these monumental shows of inclusivity, the evidence written into every physical manifestation around us, what do we humans manage to do? In the tragic-comic puppet show of our existence we divide, condemn, judge and attempt to separate the godly from the ungodly. People of one religion make war on those of another, a heterosexual man condemns a homosexual one, and we all want to shut someone or something out of our club.

We cannot cope, it seems, with divinity’s inclusivity. It is beyond our comprehension. We are children failing to understand the rules of the game, (or failing to understand that there might not even be any rules).

And yet, I smile again as I come full circle on myself, the divine’s inclusivity must, by definition of being infinity inclusive, include us too. It includes our failings, weaknesses, judgments, assumptions and arrogance within Its infinitely inclusive embrace. It includes our selfishness, our stupidity, our laziness, our stumbling, and our, at times, sleep-filled stagnating egos. It includes both virtue and sin, along with all things in between.

In the face of such a paradox, in what direction shall I steer my ship? Shall I set a course towards a land of love, compassion, understanding and growth? Or shall I steer towards darker realms of greed, ignorance and stagnation, knowing that the divine gives full blessing for me to do so?  There is no push or pull to do either, no carrot of heaven and no stick of hell to propel me. Whether I choose stagnation or growth, I am still included within the divine’s embrace.

I find it an interesting, perplexing and liberating question to ask myself… If we allow for a moment in our imagination that we are free to do and be anything we like, and whatever we choose to do or be is given absolute, unconditional consent by God, what shall we choose today and every day for the rest of our lives?

We may all have our own, uniquely personal answer to that question stemming from our own emotional, cognitive, humanistic and spiritual vantage points, all of which may well be sanctified by divinity’s inclusive embrace. For my part my answer flows, both consciously and maybe mostly subconsciously, from an intuited belief and feeling that goes something along the lines of the text below:

“Not only are you always given a choice, you are always making a choice, and you’re always making the choice that you think will best produce, or avoid, a given outcome. What you seek is the outcome that will assist you in defining Who You Really Are. That’s what you are up to. Now, you may not articulate it in that way, but I assure you, that’s what the human soul is up to. And when you begin to see it that way, when you begin to frame it in that way, you see life in a whole different way. And you imagine life to be a grand adventure, because suddenly it becomes an extraordinary adventure – an adventure in self-creation.” From ‘Abundance and Right Livelihood’ by Neale Donald Walsch

And with that I choose to let go of the all-consuming urge to continue improvising my way through this collection of shifting thoughts and words, and instead stretch my cramped muscles, eat some nourishing dinner and tell my husband I love him.

Peggy Stap, being child-like, and other such fancies

While the elusive Bob-cat (renowned photographer and film-maker Bob Talbot) remains elusively wrapped up in the completion of a film project and I am still steadying myself for the slightly daunting task of writing about dog-rescue trainer, whale disentangler and so-labeled ‘climate change skeptic’ Pieter Folkens, I have the opportunity to write a few spirit-reviving posts about Peggy Stap and the work of Marine Life Studies (MLS).

I say spirit-reviving with a ‘can’t-help-but-smile-conviction’ because Peggy is one of the most generous, kind-hearted, child-like people alive and I have a little candle of love that will always burn for her and wish her well. Some of you may remember Peggy with fondness from reading my posts about her just over a year ago, and if so, you will know that I write ‘child-like’ for all the positive, charming, beautiful aspects that this way of being in the world presents. To still have a child’s heart with its capacity for trust, love and spontaneous generosity, and to still have a child’s spirit with its unbounded exuberance, curiosity and willingness to do more…. Yes, I think we could all do with a Peggy-pill once in a while to rekindle the soft flames in our hearts and enliven our spirits.

I visited Peggy for a couple of weeks in April, staying with her in beautiful Monterey Bay, California. I have a soft spot for Monterey, with its cute old houses (of course, we are talking old for America, not old by world standards), gentle streets that people actually walk along as opposed to simple drive through, and its lush variety of trees and plants that provide a wonderful feeling of nature, freedom and woodlands in amongst an urban setting.

I met Peggy’s husband Dick for the first time; an intelligent, gentle man with an all-encompassing love for his wife and the most interesting, eloquent person to sit down with and have a conversation of substance. Peggy’s dog Whiskie the Whale Spotter was as adorable as ever and I swear I have never, ever seen a dog with such an ability to relax in the most indulgent fashion; every day sprawled in some new, exotic position on her favored chair of the moment.

Peggy was, of course, working her usual seven day week for Marine Life Studies. The organisation is still staffed by volunteers, including Peggy, although MLS has successfully attracted pockets of government and corporate funding for particular projects. I accompanied Peggy going about her daily activities; she was launching her own small research boat ‘Sweet Pea’ this spring and we were both very excited that I would be onboard with her and Whiskie to assist with her killer whale research. I will write about those adventures in a future post; the wonders and frustrations of attempting to track down orcas from a small boat where visibility is limited to three miles in a bay which is, apparently, 449 sq miles. However right now, I feel my attention turning to an education project which MLS was undertaking while I was there.

‘Take it to the Streets’ is an initiative devised and run by MLS in collaboration with The Plastic Police (an organisation established by MLS’s volunteer coordinator Jenna Contuchio and run under the umbrella of MLS). I accompanied Jenna, Peggy and a team of local volunteers on a ‘Take it to the Streets’ afternoon at a local Boys and Girls club. The aim of the session was to educate children about the environmental effects of litter dropping, (garbage dropped on land often ends up in oceans, polluting them and harming marine animals which accidentally ingest them), and to inspire them to get pro-active and participate in activities that will impact positively on their own psyche and the environment. The majority of the session involved taking the children out on a litter cleaning excursion. Can you believe that picking up litter rather than dropping it can be fun? If not then think again; the teenagers had an engaging, liberating and rewarding experience. Below was one typical comment given that day:

“We risked our clothes and brand new shoes to save a turtle’s life. It was worth it!” Unnamed boy, Salinas Girls and Boys Club

However, I came away from the day with a double-edged feeling; one that the experience was assuredly beneficial for all participants, the other that without continued input its effects might be short lived for some of the participants.

I know from my own dance teaching the immeasurable value that out-of -the-ordinary experiences provide children. Young people need unexpected and exciting experiences to shake their perceptions, instill new thinking, bring fresh energy and encourage a renewed sense of curiosity. As adults, we can easily forget to seek these experiences and fall into the trap of living a life where we believe that life is simply about ‘getting by, plodding along’. But children have not yet been deceived into believing that life is about living a humdrum existence. They are alive to possibilities and open to the potential for growth that the unknown brings. One-off exciting and nurturing experiences spark new fires in their imaginations and remind them that the world is limited only by their perceptions of it, and sometimes this impression inspires a lifetime of passion-infused living. This is exactly what ‘Take it to the Streets’ provided.

However, children by their very nature, are also wonderfully changeable and adaptable, and in their teens their attention can swing wildly between conflicting focuses; one day they think the world of something, the next it is forgotten. They require the intellectual and emotional freedom to develop their own perceptions of the world, but they also require structure to develop these ideas coherently and safely, and they require steady, patient guidance to introduce and nurture certain aspects of their thinking. Out-of-the-ordinary experiences like ‘Take it to the Streets’ may light a fire that does not die out for some children, but, for some, the fire may be forgotten by tomorrow. Maybe that is enough; maybe that is just how it should be. But maybe, in a world where our actions are causing such harm to our planet and others around us, more is required.

I do not mean that MLS should provide more; they are playing their role, a vital and passionate one, bringing that unexpected experience to children who would not otherwise have it, maybe planting the seeds for tomorrow’s dedicated conservationists. But in the bigger picture, for the work of organisations such as MLS to leave a lasting impression on the majority rather than a minority, it requires the steady, patient, on-going reinforcement that schools, families, clubs and society can provide.

I have no doubt that some families, some schools, some clubs, some states, some communities and some countries do provide this framework to a greater and lesser degree. But my guess is that in this imperfect world where we all suffer from such human frailties as complacency and self-oriented interests, the framework becomes muddled and sometimes forgotten. The proof is after all in evidence around us; would pollution and other such manmade problems exist if we had all grown up with the flame of caring for one another and our planet still alive within us?

I do not have an all-encompassing answer and I do not even believe there is necessarily just one answer. We are all such different creatures, needing different experiences and different ways of learning. One religion does not serve all of humanity; while all paths may lead to the same essence eventually, a multitude of paths can be taken along the way. So it is with how we learn, how we interact in our families and how we build our communities; there may be many solutions to the challenges life presents us. I do, however, believe that our overall approach could change… from one which is externally led to one which is internally moved. From one which is about material possessions and achievement in the outer world, to one which is about inner treasures and internal growth. From one which focuses on what we can all get from the world, to one which nurtures the concept of both inward and outward flow, giving and receiving.

And now I am left with a challenge… I started writing this post freeform with no defined objective as to what subjects it might lead me to or where it would end, just a picture of Peggy and her child-like self and the vague notion that I would write about her and MLS. And look where I ended up; in the midst of musings that weave their way from education to religion to the state of our world! A complicated puzzle but one where everything is intertwined, everything is connected. From Peggy, to child-like, to the education of our children, to children’s innate natures, to our human nature, to the flames in our hearts, to the small picture of one person unthinkingly dropping litter, to the larger picture of our whole world, to the mysterious inner realm that underpins our external life, to inward and outward flow… All of these subjects are connected, as is every aspect of our lives, with everything influencing and being influenced by everything else. Remarkable!

In my next post, I will attempt to return to Peggy, Whiskie, the world of whale research and the surprising differences between a transient, resident and offshore orca. For now, the words below eloquently add weight to my musings on conservation, education, life and other fancies.

“No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness which created it.” And, “Imagination is everything. It is the preview of life’s coming attractions.” Albert Einstein

While time flies, let’s take a moment…

Life flies by in a whirl as it tends to do unless we can still ourselves long enough to feel the preciousness of each moment. Almost a month and a half has passed since I last posted on this blog. Pinning Bob Talbot down to complete a mini-series of blog articles about him has become an undertaking requiring the patience of a wildlife photographer tracking a snow leopard in a remote mountain location. (Well, I may be mildly exaggerating. It took ten months for photographer Steve Winter to capture that beautiful creature on camera and win the 2008 Wildlife Photographer of the Year award; all things considered, a month and a half is, quite frankly, peanuts.)

In the meantime, to slow down the flighty nature of time and fill the void of waiting for the elusive Bob-cat, I found myself re-reading some timelessly nourishing and spirit-reviving quotes from the legendary naturalist and conservationist John Muir. Here they are, interspersed with a scattering of my own images of our beautiful world.

“Everybody needs beauty as well as bread, places to play in and pray in, where nature may heal and give strength to body and soul.” John Muir

“The power of imagination makes us infinite.” John Muir

“In every walk with nature one receives far more than he seeks.” John Muir

“Take a course in good air and water; and in the eternal youth of Nature you may renew your own. Go quietly, alone; no harm will befall you.” John Muir

“Keep close to Nature’s heart… And break clear away, once in awhile, and climb a mountain or spend a week in the woods. Wash your spirit clean.” John Muir

“I only went out for a walk, and finally concluded to stay out till sundown, for going out, I found, was really going in.” John Muir
The quotes above can be found on various websites such as Brainy Quote. For further quotes and background reading on the man, browse through  The Sierra Club website.

Bob Talbot – the undercurrents that move the man

“It was only in my forties that I became less judgmental about us as a species and more accepting that we behave as we do because it is our nature; just like any other creature. When I was young I was morally outraged. On some level I still am, but I now temper that outrage with rational thinking that I hope leads to more effective solutions.”

Bob is a thoughtful and questioning man, whose actions are driven by his emotions and sense of ethics. His insights into the world around him, coupled with his emotional and moral response, have motivated him to achieve great things and to think about life with a depth and integrity that others might easily push aside for the convenience of living comfortably. However, he is also familiar with the internal conflict that this ‘right and wrong / black and white’ side of his character can bring; a conflict between hope and the lack of it, between believing that things can change for the better and fearing they will not, between being judgmental and non-judgmental.

In his youth, this conflict was strong. Bob was guided more by his emotions than by intellect. It was innate for him to feel passionately about the world and our species’ relationship with it. He would feel, react to how he felt and then take action, often driven by anger and frustration. He experienced guilt, angst and the belief that he should be doing more, coupled with an equally judgmental attitude towards the rest of the human race. He took up the good fight believing that if issues were made clear to people then reason and empathy would win out.

Through the years he realized that it was not sustainable or effective to come primarily from an emotional perspective. He also realized that his sense of right and wrong needed some refining. In an attempt to find balance, Bob allowed his brain to have a say.

“My intellect told me that right and wrong do not exist in nature. We all got here by natural selection; ‘should’ and ‘should not’ are not applicable. Intellect says that humans are merely extensions of animals that have gotten too big for our britches and are consuming the planet. It was bound to happen; it is a consequence of natural selection.”

This sparked a dialogue between the rational and emotional sides of Bob’s nature, something along the lines of, “If my intellect told me that all is as it needs to be on this earth, my heart still asked, then what? Do I sit back and watch it happen or do I do something about it? I decided that while acting from the heart may be an uphill battle, I would still do what I could to stop needless suffering and, win or lose, go down swinging.”

Now with over 25 years working on conservation and environmental endeavors, Bob accepts with equanimity that the fight may indeed not be won. For Bob, this acceptance does not mean giving up. Instead, it gives him the calmness and strength to move forwards without fearing the anguish that losing the fight might otherwise bring.

“When you accept with humility that you might lose, there is less pressure, less anticipation of feeling demoralized if the fight is lost. Then you can choose to fight the fight simply because it is worth fighting; regardless of whether you will win or lose.”

As well as accepting that our species may never change our ways and that the fight may never be won, Bob also admits to the glimmer of possibility that we may evolve past this phase of selfishness and apathy into a healthier phase of human existence. Above all he believes that “Whatever the odds, being jaded is not effective, you have to have hope”.

However, Bob is of course human and admits he can still be a judgmental person. “I know that being judgmental does not help a situation, but when I see human beings take, take, take, to the very last animal, it drives me crazy!” He still finds it tough to reconcile himself with our species’ collective consumption. It surprises him how much tolerance we have for aberrant behavior; we cannot seem to stomach being deprived of material things in life but we can stomach our own and other’s behavior towards each other and the planet.

When Bob asks himself what standard of living is rightfully ours to have while not being detrimental to the world around us, he readily admits that this is difficult to answer, with no quick and easy, black and white solution. But, he says,

“It is at least apparent that we have crossed the line to a damaging degree. Human beings have always had, and still have, a tough time being accountable. There is always a price to be paid and we never know the full ripple effect of our actions. But one thing is clear; that if we keep living how we have been living, we do not have much of a future.”

Which is why he remains an environmentalist to this day; one who accepts that our future may not be bright, but nevertheless keeps hope alive that it still could be. And one who wants to instill in each of us the unshakable, ethical and honorable stance that if something is worth fighting for we must fight, regardless of whether we win or lose.

All of which leads us to what will be my next post about Bob; his thoughts on what positive action can be taken, some of the obstacles in the way and the methods he is using to encourage change. Read more next time…